How to Consciously Uncouple . . . Even When Your Partner Doesn't Want To
“Relationships that do not end peacefully do not end at all."
Yes, there is another path to ending your relationship, one filled with kindness, respect and integrity. Imagine how different it would feel if you could shift from seeing the ending of a relationship as a personal failure to one of opportunity and growth. Instead of feeling down or beating yourself up, you’ll be introduced to the strongest, wisest, and most courageous parts of yourself. It only takes one person in the relationship to uncouple in a healthy way. Even if your partner is behaving like a monster, you do not have to behave in kind. In fact, kindness and integrity are contagious! Your ability to keep your attention on yourself will pave the way to allowing love back in your life.
From happily ever after, to happily even after . . . is possible.
Conscious uncoupling was a term made famous by Gwyneth Paltrow and no matter what you think of her, the idea is you can move through the ending of a relationship with honor and reverence for the time and love shared together. It’s a choice in the midst of all the pain, to allow integrity to supersede emotions. Instead of blowing things up, consciously uncoupling offers a five-step roadmap to end a relationship with minimal damage. Katherine Woodward Thomas, author of the New York Times bestseller Conscious Uncoupling, uses a five step process; finding emotional freedom, reclaiming your power and your life, breaking the patterns and healing your heart, becoming a love alchemist, and creating your happily even after life. You’ll learn to lower reactivity, let go of the victim, uncover your role so that you can change the patterns, and practice more effective communication tools that create more balance in all of your relationships.
A poorly navigated loss leads to a poorly healed heart.
Think you can beat the odds and just get past this relationship so you can find a fresh start with someone new? Guess again. Your next relationship does not begin when you meet that someone new, but with how you bring closure and heal from the one that’s ending. Buried baggage and an unhealed heart won’t just fade away. It lies in wait for your next unsuspecting partner. Equally destructive, it leaks out in self -sabotaging your relationship with self. We can’t love another any more than we can love ourselves.
Contrary to popular belief, time does not heal all wounds. But we can.
The best way to get over a broken heart is to use the fierce pain as a catalyst to propel you to be the best version of you and turn your wounds to wisdom. There is a new and beautiful life waiting for you on the other side of this heartbreak!
“If we are willing to walk fearlessly into the crucible of a painful ending, we will find gifts waiting for us there that we never could have seen had we continued clinging to the safety of the familiar”. Craig Hamilton
Action Steps
Set the intention to bring closure in a way that helps both of you thrive, when you get to the other side of the hurt. Recall the expanded feeling of being deeply loved by someone who found their way into the chambers of our heart. Honor the reverence for the shared experience for glimpsing into each other’s souls.
Write a letter to this person. When finished, read it out loud. You may choose to tear it up, burn it, or send it.
1. Acknowledge what this person meant to you.
2. Appreciate all of the many lessons gifts this person has brought into your life.
3. Make a sincere attempt to offer amends for your part.
4.Make a commitment to integrate the wisdom and to change the patterns in future relationships.
5. Identify one need the relationship met, and choose how to meet this need now.
Watch for my upcoming challenge on how to end your relationships in a more honoring way.
If you’re curious about turning the ending of a relationship into a catalyst of unprecedented positive change, then this is for you. I’ll guide you through Conscious Uncoupling’s five-step process, but with a twist! You’ll have the tools to leave a relationship healthy and whole, rather than walled off and wounded. You’ll restore trust in your own inner compass again, you know- fill your own cup!